[and yet in some ways, it was them. because they weren't strong enough to stand beside him and weather the pain and struggles that came with being a hero facing down the greatest villain to ever live. if they were "more enough" that izuku wouldn't have had a reason to worry about them and could trust them to walk forward into the battle with him, would he have left? maybe he says it's not them, it's him, but in some ways... maybe it was them. because he couldn't trust them to not protect themselves. had they really proven themselves so weak in his eyes? or had his own power and feelings unconsciously melted into arrogance and rejection?
questions izuku's gonna have to ask himself, questions that katsuki had already wondered about himself. but those self doubts he pushed away, because he didn't have resources to waste on something like fucking doubt. funny thing is, izuku's actions never ran the risk of losing the people he loved most. they had no intention of letting him go. the one way he could've lost them is if he'd died. and they weren't willing to let that happen either. they were his class, his friends, and he was stuck with them forever.
each rhythm of izuku's breath presses against his back and ghosts across his shoulder and cheek, timing themselves with the blonde's in unconscious synchrony. reminiscent of those times long ago when they napped together as children. katsuki had always wanted izuku to leave him along during middle school, but the one time izuku willingly ran from him, he came after him with every intent to catch him and keep him there. not just for his sake, but for his own. for theirs.]
As if you'd fucking cry in the face of a villain.
[katsuki clicks the burner off, lingering in the steam drifting from the teapot. guess they all needed this break. a chance to rest and put everything away for a little while. they've all grown up so much over the year. katsuki often bragged about how he was going to operate at a pro level while he was at u.a., but god damn did he not understand entirely what his foolish self had said all those months ago. he's experienced villains, battles, humiliations, exhaustion, more effort and work than he realized. no longer being at the top because everyone else was beneath him, but because the work he put in that effortlessly shot him to the pinnacle of his small pond back home was now only breaking even with many people. all of that rests on his shoulders now as he takes the time to rest beside his friend.]
Stop getting in trouble that I need to come save your stupid ass, idiot.
[but they both know he'd save him every single time. gripe about it, yell at him, maybe blast him or beat him on the head, but always there to catch him. with the tea finished and izuku feeling better, there wasn't much more reason for him to stay here. maybe to make sure the other boy got in bed and went the fuck to sleep, but he didn't need to stay around for the latter part. he had his own things to do, his own sleep to get, and-]
Hm?
[it's still rare for izuku to use his real name. katsuki shuts the small tray on the side of the burner, leaving izuku the time to collect his thoughts. something's weighing on his mind and yelling at him to spit it the fuck out will just make him clam up or yell back. not something he needs to be doing with his throat as raw as it is. katsuki rests his hand on the floor, drumming fingers silently against the rug. didn't mean he couldn't start to prickle impatience waiting.]
Haa?
[katsuki looks over his shoulder, one eye larger than the other beneath an arched brow in an incredulous expression. did he seriously just ask him that?! what the fuck are they, five again?! they don't need to be sleeping in the same damn room! it's not like izuku needed him here to sleep better. or that katsuki had already thought about lingering to make sure he got to sleep. or that he felt better being beside his childhood friend right now... his expression softens as he slowly turns his head back to face forward. it'd been a long time since they'd share a bed together. how many nights had izuku slept alone out there for that month? without the presence of his family or his friends around him... people he'd become used to being so close by.
katsuki sighs before rolling his shoulders and then straightening up, pushing izuku back in a slight nudge to get him ready to rise.]
no subject
questions izuku's gonna have to ask himself, questions that katsuki had already wondered about himself. but those self doubts he pushed away, because he didn't have resources to waste on something like fucking doubt. funny thing is, izuku's actions never ran the risk of losing the people he loved most. they had no intention of letting him go. the one way he could've lost them is if he'd died. and they weren't willing to let that happen either. they were his class, his friends, and he was stuck with them forever.
each rhythm of izuku's breath presses against his back and ghosts across his shoulder and cheek, timing themselves with the blonde's in unconscious synchrony. reminiscent of those times long ago when they napped together as children. katsuki had always wanted izuku to leave him along during middle school, but the one time izuku willingly ran from him, he came after him with every intent to catch him and keep him there. not just for his sake, but for his own. for theirs.]
As if you'd fucking cry in the face of a villain.
[katsuki clicks the burner off, lingering in the steam drifting from the teapot. guess they all needed this break. a chance to rest and put everything away for a little while. they've all grown up so much over the year. katsuki often bragged about how he was going to operate at a pro level while he was at u.a., but god damn did he not understand entirely what his foolish self had said all those months ago. he's experienced villains, battles, humiliations, exhaustion, more effort and work than he realized. no longer being at the top because everyone else was beneath him, but because the work he put in that effortlessly shot him to the pinnacle of his small pond back home was now only breaking even with many people. all of that rests on his shoulders now as he takes the time to rest beside his friend.]
Stop getting in trouble that I need to come save your stupid ass, idiot.
[but they both know he'd save him every single time. gripe about it, yell at him, maybe blast him or beat him on the head, but always there to catch him. with the tea finished and izuku feeling better, there wasn't much more reason for him to stay here. maybe to make sure the other boy got in bed and went the fuck to sleep, but he didn't need to stay around for the latter part. he had his own things to do, his own sleep to get, and-]
Hm?
[it's still rare for izuku to use his real name. katsuki shuts the small tray on the side of the burner, leaving izuku the time to collect his thoughts. something's weighing on his mind and yelling at him to spit it the fuck out will just make him clam up or yell back. not something he needs to be doing with his throat as raw as it is. katsuki rests his hand on the floor, drumming fingers silently against the rug. didn't mean he couldn't start to prickle impatience waiting.]
Haa?
[katsuki looks over his shoulder, one eye larger than the other beneath an arched brow in an incredulous expression. did he seriously just ask him that?! what the fuck are they, five again?! they don't need to be sleeping in the same damn room! it's not like izuku needed him here to sleep better. or that katsuki had already thought about lingering to make sure he got to sleep. or that he felt better being beside his childhood friend right now... his expression softens as he slowly turns his head back to face forward. it'd been a long time since they'd share a bed together. how many nights had izuku slept alone out there for that month? without the presence of his family or his friends around him... people he'd become used to being so close by.
katsuki sighs before rolling his shoulders and then straightening up, pushing izuku back in a slight nudge to get him ready to rise.]
Fine. Lemme go get my shit and I'll be back.