[all questions he was far too tired to contemplate. or they were just questions that lingered in the depths of his mind, when he closed his eyes or when the nights got too quiet. when he had left it had been less quiet, his sleep came rarely. naps caught in the back of a car, restless depending on who was in the back with him. when best jeanist would take over driving and all might would share the back with him, the naps were tumultuous with worry. the warning the man had received from nighteye and his own impending doom had weighed heavy, wondering if he was forcing his idol into his grave by bringing him along.
but they would share a meal, izuku nodding off here and there. when the number two hero shared the seat... the young hero would gently relay the situation with a healing voice. hawks never held anything back, and deku appreciated that. he would offer a broken wing, the soft downy of the remaining feathers brushing his cheek and lulling him to sleep. he would nap better with hawks. but neither of the pros had him fall into such a deep slumber than endeavor. probably because the man was large and imposing, heat rolling from him in waves. on the cold, rainy nights it had been enough.
beds were often a luxury, anything more than a handful of hours at a time would make izuku feel impossibly guilty. as if every moment his eyes would close meant another moment someone would be lost and it would be his fault. soon it would only be him and all might, until he pushed him too away.
he had never felt so stupid in his life.
he had to wonder if it was really worth it, the stress he had caused the pros and his close friends. that guilt slumping his shoulders and making his body feel so heavy.
brought out of those thoughts again by kacchan, though he didn't meet his gaze after issuing his selfish little question. he had been anticipating a rejection, the line of his shoulder tense and painful. but the rejection never came, getting nudged back and settling against the wall as he glanced to the other boy in genuine wonder. it made something familiar and giddy flutter deep in his stomach. something he had pushed down for years, when he knew what that feeling meant. izuku wouldn't be hopeful about it, he just wanted the company.
as infrequent his sleep schedule was when away, he had cherished the moments in that backseat, with one of his mentors sharing it with him. offering what comfort they could in their own ways. maybe it helped them feel less guilty, maybe they genuinely cared about him too. the way best jeanist would brush his bangs back and urge him to sleep, the concern in both hawks and endeavor's eyes before he would run off into uncertain dangers. he had callously pushed it all away.
he needed to apologize to them too.
for now he gives an absent nod, breathing out his tension.]
The... door will be open.
[he offers, flicking his gaze back to katsuki before he slowly got to his own feet. he felt weak and shaky, but he looked a hell of a lot better. just tired. absently he tugged at his shirt, he'll change into something fresh when bakugou goes to get his own. he had been careful not to spill his sick on himself, but he did sweat through it. a wipe down with a cloth can hold him until his morning shower, a fresh shirt and boxers should work for tonight.
the bed might not be big, but it would be enough.
an embarrassed hand lifts, rubbing at his nape as he glanced away. he wanted to thank him again, for accepting the invite. but he didn't want to push his luck.]
no subject
but they would share a meal, izuku nodding off here and there. when the number two hero shared the seat... the young hero would gently relay the situation with a healing voice. hawks never held anything back, and deku appreciated that. he would offer a broken wing, the soft downy of the remaining feathers brushing his cheek and lulling him to sleep. he would nap better with hawks. but neither of the pros had him fall into such a deep slumber than endeavor. probably because the man was large and imposing, heat rolling from him in waves. on the cold, rainy nights it had been enough.
beds were often a luxury, anything more than a handful of hours at a time would make izuku feel impossibly guilty. as if every moment his eyes would close meant another moment someone would be lost and it would be his fault. soon it would only be him and all might, until he pushed him too away.
he had never felt so stupid in his life.
he had to wonder if it was really worth it, the stress he had caused the pros and his close friends. that guilt slumping his shoulders and making his body feel so heavy.
brought out of those thoughts again by kacchan, though he didn't meet his gaze after issuing his selfish little question. he had been anticipating a rejection, the line of his shoulder tense and painful. but the rejection never came, getting nudged back and settling against the wall as he glanced to the other boy in genuine wonder. it made something familiar and giddy flutter deep in his stomach. something he had pushed down for years, when he knew what that feeling meant. izuku wouldn't be hopeful about it, he just wanted the company.
as infrequent his sleep schedule was when away, he had cherished the moments in that backseat, with one of his mentors sharing it with him. offering what comfort they could in their own ways. maybe it helped them feel less guilty, maybe they genuinely cared about him too. the way best jeanist would brush his bangs back and urge him to sleep, the concern in both hawks and endeavor's eyes before he would run off into uncertain dangers. he had callously pushed it all away.
he needed to apologize to them too.
for now he gives an absent nod, breathing out his tension.]
The... door will be open.
[he offers, flicking his gaze back to katsuki before he slowly got to his own feet. he felt weak and shaky, but he looked a hell of a lot better. just tired. absently he tugged at his shirt, he'll change into something fresh when bakugou goes to get his own. he had been careful not to spill his sick on himself, but he did sweat through it. a wipe down with a cloth can hold him until his morning shower, a fresh shirt and boxers should work for tonight.
the bed might not be big, but it would be enough.
an embarrassed hand lifts, rubbing at his nape as he glanced away. he wanted to thank him again, for accepting the invite. but he didn't want to push his luck.]